


Operation Pepper

by Goldy, mrv3000



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-11-25
Updated: 2007-11-25
Packaged: 2017-10-19 18:57:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/204165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goldy/pseuds/Goldy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrv3000/pseuds/mrv3000
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose and the Doctor attempt to be covert spies. Badly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Operation Pepper

**Author's Note:**

> So the Doctor and Rose set up a base of operations in a flat... Thanks to beck_liz for the beta!

Rose slid a dark pair of sunglasses on her nose and opened a newspaper in front of her face. The headline read: “ARE OUR CHILDREN KEEPING UP WITH THE REST OF THE MILKY WAY GALAXY? For details, see page A5.”

She brought her walkie-talkie up to her mouth and said, “I’ve got Mr. Pepper in my line of sight now. Over.”

She heard a muffled reply and frowned.

“Doctor?”

“How do you feel about cheese and meat sauce?” boomed the Doctor’s voice from the walkie-talkie.

Rose folded down the newspaper. “What?”

“I’m making lasagna! Did _you_ know this flat had an oven? It’s been ages since I’ve cooked.”

“Aren’t we supposed to be watching the Pepper family? You said they were planning on sabotaging tomorrow’s final EU meeting on integration. Bound to halt two-hundred years of progress,’ you said. ‘Might unintentionally start World War Three.’”

“Did I?” said the Doctor vaguely.

“Yes!” Rose said. “You said we had to gather intelligence so we could stop it!”

“OOH!” said the Doctor. “I wonder what would happen if I used the sonic screwdriver to increase the power cells by two-hundred percent!”

Rose straightened and almost dropped the walkie-talkie in alarm. “What?”

“All in control! Don’t worry.”

“No, Doctor—don’t—!”

A loud explosion reverberated through the walkie-talkie. Rose wrenched it away from her ear and held it in front of her, glaring at it suspiciously. Very slowly, she brought it back up to her ear and spoke in a whisper.

“Doctor?” she said. “Doctor, are you there?”

The walkie-talkie snapped and crackled in reply.

“Doctor?”

“Rose!” She sagged in relief. “Um, maybe it’d be best if you didn’t come back for a while.”

Rose wasn't fooled. “What did you do?”

“Never you mind! I’ll sort it out. BYE, THEN!”

The Doctor clicked off. Rose sighed and fixed her sunglasses back on her nose.

The walkie-talkie snapped back on. “And, Rose? _Don’t_ wander off. Those people are dangerous.”

Rose caught Mr. Pepper disappearing out of the corner of her eyes.

“I’ll talk to you later, yeah?”

“Rose! I mean it—”

Rose hit the ‘power’ button on her walkie-talkie. She pulled up the newspaper and followed Mr. Pepper.

***

Rose jumped behind a tree, watching as Mr. Pepper looked up and down the street before crossing to the other side. Sure the Doctor had said something about not wandering off, but technically, could she wander off if she wasn't with him to start with? Besides, saving the world seemed to take precedence over safety.

It was strange, though. Usually the Doctor didn't mess with history. Not unless it was after the fact and it had gone off track.

Mr. Pepper hurried along down the street, not even seeming to consider someone might be following him. He made a sharp left into a lingerie shop.

Okay.

It was then that her mobile rang. Bugger. Naturally it was the Doctor, but she quickly put it on mute. No doubt he would be telling her to wait for him somewhere or something ridiculous.

After a few minutes, Mr. Pepper emerged with a bag from the shop. She supposed he had to have other hobbies besides starting World War Three. Her mobile vibrated. She didn't even need to look since the Doctor was the only one who had her number in this time.

Maybe she could tackle Mr. Pepper. Or hit him on the head or something. He didn't look particularly strong. She could take him. Her mobile vibrated again.

Mr. Pepper turned down a deserted side street. It would be perfect. She could knock him out and then call the Doctor. Maybe they could pack him up in the TARDIS and drop him off after the EU meeting was over.

She started to charge, the sound of other running footsteps faintly sounding in her ears. Rose nearly made it to Mr. Pepper when suddenly she was knocked sideways, tumbling to the ground with her assailant - a surprisingly cushioned fall. Mr. Pepper turned at the noise.

"Whoops! Looks like we tripped!" The Doctor called up to him.

Rose watched as Mr. Pepper raised an eyebrow but continued down the street and around another corner.

"Doctor! I almost had him!" she yelled as they pulled themselves up.

"Good show, too. You would have got him, no doubt. Probably could have knocked him cold. Eventually."

"Yes! And? So? WHY did you stop me?"

"Here's the thing..."

"Don't tell me. Can't handle it on my own. He's too dangerous for me."

"Um, no, I wouldn't say that. Wouldn't say that at all, really. Not because you couldn't handle it on your own. You could, but that's not really the reason. Or rather, is partly the reason. No, strike that, you definitely could handle it on your own, but in this case..."

"Doctor!"

"Mr. Pepper doesn't start World War Three."

"What?"

"Nope. Just your average bloke."

"I am so confused. You have no idea just how confused I am at this moment."

"Well, you see, I sort of needed you out of the flat for a while and God knows you'd get bored with anything ordinary."

"You...wanted me out of the flat."

"Right."

"So you invented World War Three."

"Foolproof! Nearly."

"And the explosion?"

"Sound effect! Setting 534.8 on the sonic screwdriver. Needed a bit more time."

"For what?!"

"Somehow a 'nice dinner for two' seems a bit silly at the moment," he said with a guilty expression.

Rose stared. “I’m sorry?”

“A… dinner?” the Doctor tried again, beginning to look flustered. “Sort of this… traditional ritual between two people who are very important to each other? Blimey, this is more complicated than I imagined it would be.”

Rose blinked. Then started laughing.

The Doctor frowned. "What?"

Rose drew in a sharp breath, but then burst into giggles again. "You could have just _told_ me!"

"And risk ruining the surprise?" he said. "Nah. What's the fun in that?" He paused. "You _are_ surprised, aren't you?"

He looked so hopeful that Rose couldn't stop her smile. "Yeah!"

He grinned. "So saving the world's off tonight's menu, but how do you feel about duck?"

"What happened to the lasagna?"

"All part of the grand illusion, Rose! Never do anything half-way!" he said as he took her hand and led her back towards the flat.

"Tell that to Mr. Pepper."


End file.
